Top Tips (VIZ variety- but clean)

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 5:30 pm

MOTORISTS. Pressing your 'fog lights' switch a second time after the fog has cleared will actually turn your fog lights off.

A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity.

BUS DRIVERS. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.

FOOL other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the kerb.

WHEN out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

SAVE petrol by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.

RE-SPRAYING your car? Cover it with 'Cling Film' first. If you don't like the new colour, simply peel it off and start again.

AVOID being wheel clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the boot until you return.

AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

Mr Quoter-vator Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 7405