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Chris H
Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 19978
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:45 pm |
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YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN LIVING IN GLASGOW TOO LONG WHEN...
1. YOU SAY "PISH" ALL THE TIME!
2. YOU SAY "AYE" ALL THE TIME!
3. YOU END SENTENCES WITH "MAN" I.E.. "THAT PLACE IS PURE PISH, MAN! AH'M > NO' GOIN' THERE, MAN!"
4. YOU THINK McEWANS LAGER IS GREAT, IGNORING THE FACT IT "TASTES OF PISH MAN"
5. YOU GET AN URGE TO DECK EVERYBODY YOU MEET.
6. YOU DECK EVERYBODY YOU MEET.
7. PEOPLE SEEM TO BE SCARED OF YOU WHEN YOU TELL THEM WHERE YOUR FROM.
8. YOU AUTOMATICALLY GET THE URGE TO KILL ON HEARING THE WORDS "EDINBURGH" > OR "ENGLAND"
ARE YOU LIVING TOO CLOSE TO GLASGOW?
THE TELL TALE SIGNS ARE:
1. YOUR MISSUS HAS A POSTER OF ANDY GORAM SMILING.
2. YOU LET YOUR 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SMOKE AT THE DINNER TABLE IN FRONT OF HER KIDS.
3. YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES AND STILL HAVE THE SAME IN-LAWS.
4. YOU THINK A WOMAN'S "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE" BECAUSE SHE ASKS FOR A GLASS WITH HER TENNENTS SUPER.
5. THE PHRASE "THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!" REMINDS YOU THE OFF-LICENCE HAS JUST OPENED.
6. YOU WISH YOUR TOILET WAS AS CLEAN AS THE ONE IN THE BUS STATION.
7. AT LEAST ONE MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY HAS DIED RIGHT AFTER SAYING "HEY,WATCH THIS!"
8. YOU THINK DOM PERIGNON IS A MAFIA LEADER.
9. YOUR WIFE'S HAIRDO IS RUINED BY A CEILING FAN.
10. ONE (OR MORE) OF YOUR KIDS WAS CONCEIVED ON A PUB POOL TABLE.
11. YOUR BACK DOOR COAL BUNKER IS IDEAL FOR THE ROTTWEILER TO RAISE ITS PUPS.
12. YOU ONLY NEED ONE MORE STAMP ON YOUR CARD TO GET A FREEBIE AT TAM'S TATTOOS.
13. YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED TO YOUR CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART BECAUSE OF THE CURRENT BESTIALITY LAWS.
14. YOU THINK "LOADING THE DISHWASHER" MEANS GETTING YOUR MISSUS PISHED. AND FINALLY.....
15. THE SOUNDTRACK ON YOUR WEDDING VIDEO ENDS WITH THE LOUDHAILER MESSAGE: "THIS IS THE POLIS!"
its so true, most of you that have met me will say, "aye thats about right, bloody pish talkin chris!" lol
tranton sent me that in an email! |
Last edited by Chris H on Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:57 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Dan
Site Subscriber
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 3547
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:50 pm |
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LOL @
3. YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES AND STILL HAVE THE SAME IN-LAWS.
7. AT LEAST ONE MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY HAS DIED RIGHT AFTER SAYING "HEY,WATCH THIS!" |
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Chris H
Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 19978
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| Posted:
Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:53 pm |
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its true though innit dan, you spent what 2 days with me and can see the list is based on fact!
number 7 is so true in england, they act wide and cocky then you just say somethign and the glaswegian voice makes them shite themselves! lol
Simon (meg cabby guy) was droppe doff in brixton by his brother for a laugh and he was on the tube and big black guys came over to him whilst he was holdign his laptop and had his watch etc on and they asked th etime. he told them they asked where he was from and they backed off then ran off the train at the next stop! lol |
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Dan
Site Subscriber
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 3547
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:57 pm |
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LOL it is true! tbh, i didnt think glasgow was that bad! |
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Chris H
Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 19978
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:00 pm |
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its not bad, just missunderstood! |
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Dan
Site Subscriber
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 3547
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:02 pm |
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lol, kinda like weston super mare, everyone says its really bad etc, but i'd quite happily walk the streets there alone! |
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Dan
Site Subscriber
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 3547
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:21 pm |
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So are you going to come doon south anytime chris? |
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Chris H
Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 19978
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:52 pm |
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Roger Red Hat
Site Subscriber
Joined: 13 Oct 2004
Posts: 4722
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 5:51 pm |
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5. YOU GET AN URGE TO DECK EVERYBODY YOU MEET.
6. YOU DECK EVERYBODY YOU MEET.
i found that amusing. |
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mals
Self Proclaimed Comic Genius
Joined: 04 Jul 2004
Posts: 3482
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 5:58 pm |
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Chris H
Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 19978
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Fri Mar 17, 2006 7:50 pm |
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heres a joke amber told me a wee while ago.
why was the bakers hands brown?
he was kneading a jobbie!
lol |
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andy 16v
Site Subscriber
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Posts: 591
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Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:29 am |
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stan
Gay Rights Activist
Joined: 07 Apr 2004
Posts: 1268
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Sat Mar 18, 2006 8:16 am |
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lol
except i also say "aye" and "man" ?!! |
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Dan
Site Subscriber
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 3547
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Sat Mar 18, 2006 12:25 pm |
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R1916S
Site Subscriber
Joined: 23 Jan 2005
Posts: 502
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Sat Mar 18, 2006 1:30 pm |
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You know Dom PĂ©rignon 
Shit |
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R1916S
Site Subscriber
Joined: 23 Jan 2005
Posts: 502
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Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:14 pm |
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Can’t be that bad?
Looking for a home trainer I came across this on the first page of Goggle.
[web:8d7f44d4c3]http://www.edinburghbicycle.com/welcome/welcome.html[/web:8d7f44d4c3]
 Sorry Glasgow
Well not to far away |
Last edited by R1916S on Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:21 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Chris H
Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 19978
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Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:17 pm |
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thats edinburgh not glasgow! |
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Tranton
Site Subscriber
Joined: 17 Mar 2004
Posts: 342
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Mon Mar 20, 2006 2:03 am |
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| R1916S";p="87328 wrote: |
Can’t be that bad?
Looking for a home trainer I came across this on the first page of Goggle.
Sorry Glasgow
Well not to far away |
I'm trying to get a job there. I used to go there a lot years ago |
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