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 If people bought cars like they bought computers
Author Message
mals
Self Proclaimed Comic Genius

Joined: 04 Jul 2004
Posts: 3482

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:51 am

[img:17:25:8614a32c04]http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/5422/cooper5og.gif[/img:8614a32c04]

Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: I got my car and closed the door, and nothing happened! Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?
Customer: What's an ignition?
Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turn over the engine.
Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?

Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere! Helpline: Is the petrol tank empty?
Customer: Huh? How do I know?
Helpline: There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?
Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?
Helpline: It means that you have to visit a petrol station, and purchase some more petrol. You can install it yourself,
Customer: What!? I paid £12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!

Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: Your car sucks!
Helpline: What's wrong?
Customer: It crashed, that's what went wrong!
Helpline: What were you doing?
Customer: I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed--and now it won't start!
Helpline: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?
Customer: I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash anymore!

Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks.
Helpline: Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?
Customer: How do I work it?
Helpline: Do you know how to drive?
Customer: Do I know how to what?
Helpline: Do you know how to drive?
Customer: I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!

[img:17:25:8614a32c04]http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/5422/cooper5og.gif[/img:8614a32c04]
Naples_16v
Site Subscriber

Joined: 11 Dec 2005
Posts: 192

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 11:31 am

lol idiots, like the li'l tommy smily too lol
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